cuddle
touch for men
Listen. The world has been a pretty hard place to exist in for the last decade or so. Politics, pandemics, wars, student loans, inflation, crumbling human rights. . . we have a lot of reasons to feel lost, lonely, stressed, and afraid. In a world where we are continually moving farther and farther away from each other, so many of us are starved for human touch and connection on top of all the rest.
If you're a dude and you're feeling alone, I can help.
Contact me today and schedule a cuddle session.
the beginning
Contact me and we'll meet somewhere in public to chat about what you're looking for and whether or not we'd be a good fit. If it's a match, I'll have some paperwork for you to fill out and we'll schedule your first appointment.
the experience
We'll meet at your place and we'll spend a few minutes discussing how you're feeling, what you're hoping to experience, and how I can help facilitate that. Then, we'll do the thing: cuddle in your bed, or on your couch, perhaps. We can spoon quietly, watch a movie, you can vent about your anxieties, or we can chat about shared interests. The details of this experience are up to you, but it's all based in platonic and intentional touch. I want to help you create a space where you feel loved, supported, and, most importantly, connected.
the ending
As our allotted time comes to a close, we'll slowly come back into reality and we'll take a few moments to decompress. I'll take your payment (cash, venmo, cashapp, card, whatever), and I'll head out, leaving you that much more grounded in the truth that we are all connected, and that we're all in this together. No one is really alone.
The intention of cuddling is for us to develop a platonic relationship to deepen the experience. Maybe you'll want to meet weekly, monthly, or once or twice a year. After our first session, really take some time to reflect on how you feel, and use that a guideline to determine how often you'd like to meet.
the details
price
$40/hour
This price is for one hour of cuddling only. The timer starts when the cuddling starts. The few minutes of chatting at the beginning are complimentary. The paid hour includes a few minutes of "cool-down" at the end where we may meditate or chat. Our first public meeting is free.
Our first cuddling session will be one hour (plus warm up, as mentioned above), but after that you can schedule 1 or more hours at at time, and you can feel free to ask me to add an hour as your session comes to a close.
location
I'm available to travel to you in the city of Rochester, NY and in some adjacent suburbs. I'm a huge believer in public transit, so if you're close to a bus line, I can be there. Contact me to discuss the feasibility of traveling to you.
I also feel that creating this space where you feel warm and cared for in your own home is extremely important. I'm not here to judge your cleaning habits or organizational skills. No big deal if you don't live alone: if you can close a door, we'll be fine. If this is impossible for you, let me know and we can talk about other potential options, if any exist.
contact
To start off, email me at touchformen@proton.me.
why men?
As a man, I recognize that men (self-identified) face unique issues in our day-to-day lives, including the often painful and impossible ideals of masculinity; that is, being "man enough." We are taught to be stoic, to do what is expected of us, and to ignore any negative feelings we may have. Men, regardless of race, class, background, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else, often have a hard time expressing our feelings, sometimes even to ourselves.
As a young child, I learned that it was appropriate to cuddle with or otherwise experience physical touch with women in my life (my mom, for example), but that touch with other men should be brief, or avoided entirely. Maybe you had a similar experience. Certainly, it's an issue common in societies across the globe, and not at all specific to you or I.
As we grow older, we may not immediately notice the complete lack of platonic touch in our lives, because we do experience touch; but only in a romantic or sexual context. We may deal with this imbalance by having increasing amounts of casual sexual encounters or even by serial dating. There is nothing wrong with these practices, but you'll find that they are only partially satisfying: you still aren't addressing the issue of a complete lack of platonic human contact in your life.
Living in a culture that demands that men avoid platonic physical contact with one another encourages isolation. It's no secret that men struggle with their mental health, largely privately, because of this. The CDC says that in 2022 men were four times more likely than women to end their own lives. How can we begin to address this chronic isolation?
That's where cuddling comes in.
It's my hope that someday we dismantle the patriarchal gender roles that prevent men from cuddling up with a friend and watching a movie or embracing a friend to express a strong emotion, but I realize that for many of us, that may feel unattainable right now. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try: let's start small!
In the privacy of your room, we can cuddle. We can exist together and connect with each other and experience the platonic human contact you may be missing. That experience will be unique to you, to address the specific issues you may be facing. It's my goal to not only provide the human touch you need, but to help you become more comfortable with the concept itself.
what i do:
I'm a good listener and I just want to make you feel heard and seen and cared for.
Whether you need a big spoon, a little spoon, or something else entirely, I'm eager to adapt to your unique situation.
I'm respectful and trustworthy. Our sessions are confidential, and I'm serious about your boundaries. We have so much emotion tied up in our physical forms; if an area is triggering or uncomfortable for you, tell me.
what i don't do:
I am not a therapist and I am not a life coach. Feel free to vent to me, but know that I am in no way trained to guide your choices.
I am not a sex worker and none of this is a euphemism for sex work.
I'm not trying to give you a boyfriend experience. Think of this more like bros who aren't afraid to touch each other platonically or to be open about their feelings.
just looking completely normal
about me
Hey I'm nick :)
I'm a chunky bearded dude in my late 30s. I wear glasses and shave my head. Specifically, I'm about 5'9" and 220-230lbs, which manifests itself as a belly.
I wear unscented natural deodorant, have a cat, smoke a little weed sometimes, and typically wear perfume. Please let me know if you have allergy concerns or don't like certain scents.
Local history and western esotericism light me up. Rochester is a wild place. Basically everything happened here! What's your favorite bit of local history?
Star Trek and Stardew Valley soothe me. Are you into scifi or chill sandbox games?
I have tons of niche interests, but, truly, I love learning new things. Why don't you tell me about something you're obsessed with?
contact me today: touchformen@proton.me
Education and Training
Free Consent Workshop - completed 2024 - via Certified Cuddlers
Professional Cuddler Certification Program Beta - in progress - via Certified Cuddlers